Sunday, October 28, 2018

~Calm~


is this
romance? No,
It's undefined
filing the
pain away
in the
corners of
my mind

I feel
like I'm
hibernating
again with
the cold
weather the
clean  calm
it's just
dark and
angry ready
to change

I'm not
ready to
come back
to this
empty place

breathing should
be easy
call it
a lesson

the stars
tend to
make sense
when you
want them to

a reflective
chilling time
a change
of time
is called
winter time

a English rose
ethereal and earthly
calm in
my eyes
I know
who you are

icy swirls
fall into
the air
and just
shiver there

the cold
brings everything
to light

Sarah Mahina Calvello

~Cloak and Dagger~


sorry, let's
not talk
about this
you seem
exhausted have
a muffin

every thing's tied
together and
I don't
know how
to feel
speed bumps along
the way
that need
to happen

I wonder what
it would
be like
if we
were more
direct, I'm
thinking it
would be
less stress
less waste
of time

all cloak
and dagger
about my
emotions but I
miss you
like sleep
my wings
aren't unbroken
I just
need to
unfold them
even though
it's undefined

~Sarah Mahina Ca;vello

Friday, October 26, 2018

~Cappucino~


cappuccino bread
and coffee
soaking, melting
in my
mouth sugar-sweet
and fragile

in the pale sun
shadows creeping
on sneakily

worn out buttons
leaves like
mosaics it's
like deja vu
and I
feel calm
just breathing

leaves are
filled with
a sparkling
singing light
that fills the
blue spaces
in between, slowly,
so slowly

everything moves
in slow
underwater motion

you let go
so easily
teach me
what I fear

just one
more sunset
to see

now I'm
skeptical of
pretty lies
hoping to
be good enough
a book
forever unread
no real
reply

the trees
keep letting
the light in
so bright
it can
hurt your
eyes

~Sarah Mahina Calvello~

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

~Watching Raccoons~


watching the
raccoons with
you I
remember leaning
out the
window laugh
trying to
be the first to
catch a glimpse

they climbed
up and down
the tree
slowly very slowly
carefully
curling in
curling out
falling like
nighttime gymnasts
blurring charcoal
fading into
the warm chill
of night
you shine
the light
on them
and they stop
transfixed eyes
shiny, reflective
beautiful in
the breathing
calling shadows

you say
they like light
I say
I never
knew they
liked light
but I
guess everyone
needs light

they emerged
from the trees
in the
dark shadows
bending underwater echos


raccoons giggle
when they're happy
then I
saw them again
one young raccoon
kept looking
back at
me with
wistful luminous
eyes as
if saying
goodbye
for now

everything has
to turn and change
nothing can
really change that
just try
to find
a place
where hearts
can collide

~Sarah mahina Calvello

~Fraying~



sometimes I
feel like
a plant
begging for
a touch of daylight

desolation comes
with a price
it comes
on like
a echo of
a reborn scream

can you
hear me?
I might
need you now
but I'm
not sure
the sun
has become
hazy
leaving shadows
in its
withering wake

in my life
nothing is
too clear
and easy
anymore

misty eyes
fraying at
the edges
tired of
the same
motions of
the passing days
burning the breeze

I heard
the reverberating
footsteps and
sync them
to my
muffled heartbeat

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Tuesday, October 23, 2018

~Sweet Dreams 2~

the sun
melts away
in my window

hicory wind
is smooth
I can
see the stars
from here
after the
golden glow fades

chaos of
the days
a lie
on the
side of angels

it's complex
but reality
usually is
all day
it feels
like I've
been stuck
in the mud
wheels in reverse
full of what if's
and sweet dreams

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Sunday, October 21, 2018

~Sweet Dreams~



the sun
melts away
in my window

hicory wind
is smooth
I can
see the stars
from here
after the
golden glow fades

chaos of
the days
a lie
on the
side of angels

it's complex
but reality
usually is
all day
it feels
like I've
been stuck
in the mud
wheels in reverse
full of
what if's

I don't
want misunderstandings
things that
are left unsaid
but then again
I can't
stop living

wear this
purple is
the color
of mystery
and sexual repression
but let's go
with mystery

forget the
reasons the
shift in
the seasons
a tape
that can't rewind

took so long
to find
a semblance
what I'm looking for
but I'm still
one step behind
back into
the light
maybe there's
another way

sweet dreams
will find
me again
layered upon
my eyes
don't you
try to
take me
down


~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Saturday, October 20, 2018

~Silences~


I know
it's darker
to stand
alone eyes
my eyes
fractured and watery
still circles

it's good
to have silences
but I'm
worried they're
becoming uncomfortable

I just
need more time
there's way
too many
tables and stairs
to make
my way through

this is
the natural order
of things
to change

I just
have to
try to
stay unwavering
writing my
message on
the pavement

I like
you even
if you don't
bring me
doughnuts maybe
I'm confusing
baggage with experience
I'm not
scared really
I'm alert

good memories
are like
a slow song
that I
don't ever
want to end
savoring each
taste of
the passing days

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Thursday, October 18, 2018

~Sweet Potato~


I told
you about
sweet potato fries
and how
they have
them here
and your
eyes lit up
blue and wide
like a
little boy's

that made
me happy
you said
my thing
is Trader Joes
and your
thing is
sweet potato fries
it's the
little things
get us through

my favorite
things are
just made coffee
to smell
flowers before
I see then
when it rains
when the
picnic is ending
the smell
of dog paws
on dew grass

you never
told me
how beautiful
you are
well, may
gentle. unguarded eyes
long brown hair
ok, ok
you saw me
but I
didn't see
what you
look like

story of
my life,
everything at
a distance
I appreciate
if you
kept everything
in perspective

I'm here
if you
need a
cup of coffee
what? you
heard me

I'm trying
to say
I'll be there
never disregard
your environment
be present
with whatever
nature you
can find

captivated by
the fading light
if I
could
do one
simple thing
for you
it would be
to be there
when you
needed me to

I mean
it sweeter
then it sounds
like building blocks,
it's fun
to be
an enigma

painted moon
it's on
its way
lost
in this
beautiful fantasy

time stood
eerily still
a soul
with no footprint
stay with me
and I'll
feed you
pumpernickel bread
burnt rye
dark chocolate
crumbs paving
the way
no more
soft-spoken secrets
only truth

what I
want to
hear is
you
knocking on
my door
again

~Sarah Mahina Calvello



~Bookmark~


seems like
I'm wasting
my time
wishing
it will
all go down

you would
have thought
by now,
I'd have
leaned something

stick with
low lights
from now on
there are
no ties
in life
where life
just comes
to you

dreams catch me
when I
fall or else
I won't
go back
at all

I refuse
to be a
bookmark
in the
blank space
that happened
to be free
ivy coiled
in my hand
pale but
not trembling

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

~Sunrises~


golden soft skin
gentle eyes
shimmer like
Monet's water lillys
standing in
the doorway
rose leaves
this is
more then
just physical love

smokey apple
tarts up
the air
trails of
burnt sweetness
me me
open the
window wider

some kind
of light
in the darkness
smiling troubadours
trilling guitars

I am
tired of
only sunsets
I'm looking
up for
sunrises now
never running
out of moonlight

traveling sleepless
roads now
that angels
will show
up on

having conversations
with nothing
but your eyes
I'm a
mess right now

you said
you had
a dream
where I
sung like
a nightingale

and that
made it
better
more bearable
and I
will never
stop watching
as you leave

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Saturday, October 13, 2018

~Break~


distant footsteps
on the ground
I can't
just sit
and pretend
I have
to see
what's behind
your eyes

not hiding
intentions anymore
some days
take less
than more
out of me

I wish
it were raining
another name
another time
to self-correct again

I like
who I am
I like
to be
boring and centered
as much as I
can be

this is
a thought
I hope
you see

suppressing emotions
of devotion
finger intertwined
wind and
sky peacock-blue
and shimmering

the angels
need you here
sometimes to
find myself
I have to
get far away
from the
world
I have known

I  have
to leave
to come
home again
without a
compass but
with a
safe heart

but still,
the heart
always finds
a new way
to break
just a
little more

I still
am seeking
someone
to share
starlight with

a place
where people
come alive
full moon
over the sea
a place where
we can
go arm in arm

there is
something in
the middle
that intrigues me

balance, rhythm
unique constellation
of attributes
that disappears
and reappears again
under the
shadowed curtain
of night

you know, sometimes
you're done
with feelings
but they're
not done
with you

there is
a chill
in the air

but it's clear
and clear
an evening
to play
Lumineers and
Mumford and Sons
in pajamas
a hot drink
steams me up
in a hug

I saw
a dead moth
on the sink
and almost
cried
I'm a mess

there;s a
lot of
sunsets
I still
haven't seen
seems like
I'm wasting time
wishing it
would all
go down
stuck in
the low lights

the perfect
color refracted
blue, rainbow,
green violet
iridescent pieces
to hold close

~Sarah Mahina Cal

Friday, October 12, 2018

~Light~


when terrible
happen you
have to
figure out
where the
light is

I don't
know if
I can
I'm the base
if you
really listen
you can
hear me

the moon
feels like
it came out
late tonight

everything shining
so bright
awash in
silver and sharp light
gold shadows
distracted by sounds

I want to
find a
new  way
to breathe
a palm
tree with
with long,
lacy strands
that sparkle
in the
reflected light
of our
fading footsteps

~Sarah Mahina Calvello


~Hourglass~


follow the
changing seasons
as the
leaves change
with every
new bloom
it fades

as we
take it
step-by-step
nobody is
to blame
for such
a try
just confusion
the haze inside

all the while,
going through
the toils
of the
passing days
hold me
tight

better slow
it down
find the time
open my eyes
before I
run out
of it
the hourglass
doesn't wait
for anyone

making up
my own ending
I'll let
you know
how I feel
at least
the wind
is in our favor

they spin
web for me
it's amazing
that you
chose to
show grace
to a wretch
like me

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Saturday, October 6, 2018

~Rain~


you said more
pressure
but modulate,
baby, modulate

I can't stop
something I
didn't start
praying that
the light
isn't fading

rain, get
off my
window teasing
calling me
home

lanky, reedy
elfin creature
with a
brilliant mind
I did
it I
should own it
lashing out
isn't a strengh
it's a weakness

all that
quiet hoping
I suppose
now I
am free
just a
little late
in the day

trembling hands
of uncertainty
don't spend
your whole
life waiting

I like
meeting people
on the steps
different paths
crossing at
different times

there's something
about cold air
that brings life
back to you

we left
with ourselves
with no place
to go
holding onto
a shape
having to
let go
of the story

it's more
of a shadow now,
a echo
find a
moment
in the dream

I have
my moments
yes, you
do

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

~Flower~


I want
to be here
not lacking,
just complete

 here in
a complete moment
present but
not scared
of this reality

life's an
adventure
or it's nothing
flirted?
you mean
the way
I didn't stop
you from talking

just some
loneliness a
little bit
of disregard
that's not
much of
a plan

I don't know,
there's miracles everyday

in every relationship
there is
a flower
and there is
a gardener
for awhile

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Thursday, October 4, 2018

~Truth~


so many
feelings still
left in
my arsenal
but I end
up never
getting a
chance to
show it

cue the
salt in
the wound
real people
smell like
pine resin

waiting for
things to happen
is like
watching the
seasons change
the air is changing
and I
get excited

hopeful again
finally the
bundle of
tears is
gone forever

there's grief
and there's worship
it's over
face the truth
the ship
has sailed
in one
true direction
not for
nothing
no more weights
tied to
the ground
no more
pretending now

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

~Middle~


in the
middle you
feel it's
never gonna
end like
a big yard
big enough
to get
lost in

wild blends
into one
watercolor color
until the
grass
is the only
thing that
moves

don't look
at me
with that
tone
of voice

we are
free daylights
shaking the trees
no more
clouds to
put away

lay your
troubles on
the ground
you don't
have to
worry about
them now

I'm no
good at
giving up
the ink
is still
drying where
I wrote
your name

dreaming of
escape colors are
fading but
I grasp
them in
my fingers
colored spiderwebs
invisible but not

the signals
broke I'm focused
on your
name soon
I'll move
forward

I feel light
even though
things come
to weigh
me down after all,
it's just gravity
and the
streetlamp is
glowing lighting
the shadows
revealing the
path that
I should
follow

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

~Parable~


that hellish
shaky bridge
we all
have to
cross

add a
parable
shape up
don't ship
out
with all
the demons
I possess
I will
try
to tread that
good line

I seek
many things
before I
roll back
into
the ground

up to
me to find
any sense
that is proper
there has
to be
a way
around

I'll do
all I can
but I
can't make
any promises
in this
chaotic merry-go-round

if you
ever need
something from
me I
will meet
you half-way

the hairs
on the stems
of the icy violet
trembles like
sugary dark purple
tears

~Sarah Mahina Calvello

~Marshmallows~


you look nice
from a
passing stranger
there are
still good
surprises
out there

some things
in life
are more
important then money
ya that's
true, but
they all
cost money

better get
your marshmallows
because I'm
on fire
I'm just
fine

the clouds
are creeping
across my
eyes like
a curse

it haunts me
it's easy
to forget
my name
when there
is beauty here

It's dark
out there
better bring
your halo
that's funny

no more
storybook number
of ribbons
happy nothings
forget-me knots

someone should
send you
a rose
and remind
you you
have a
real friend

I don't
want to
spend another
second in
this waster air

don't leave
me here
no telling
how far
that story
really goes


~Sarah Mahina Calvello

~Burning~


it's another
unfolding
another day
can't just be another
moment

respect me
I'm a
bullet undercover
coming out
of burnt ashes
bitter and sweet smoking
I'll be
whole again
I'll prove it
like I've never
been burning
in the
first place
this is not
worth pretending
it's good

step away
from my door
with your
harbingers
of shadows
too long
on the floor

I wish
I can
but I
just can't

no one
is getting blown
up today
I didn't
pay the
gas bill

~Sarah Mahina Calvello